Thursday, February 17, 2011

Negotiation by Marewa Glover

This poem by Marewa Glover struck a chord about my own experience of BDSM. Marewa is a researcher and Takatapui (Maori queer). She writes an interesting chapter about her experiences of being Takatapui, including choosing BDSM as her sexuality rather than lesbian as she previously did; and how BDSM has respectful, equitable relationships. The poem is set out as in the book including ‘&’ instead of ‘and’.


finally doing it right

laying it all out

drawing boundaries

starting as we mean to continue

getting to know each other first

before the heart is stabbed through by surprise

revealing our guts & greed

risking rejection before even a kiss

securing a commitment to preserve the other

we agree not to hurt

before we even know if we would ever want to

do we manufacture love by contracting?

or just seek to experience it

create a dome within which

it is safe to bare heart to knife

skin to fire

eyes to truth

ears to the groans & grunts of lust

it maybe a self-defence

but if it allows us to believe

it allows us to unlock the deepest safe

wherein rests a fortune

beyond our imagining

& I am a treasure seeker

are you?

Glover M, (2007). Eroticising equality, coming to power. In C. Aspin and J Hutchings (Ed.s.) Sexuality and the stories of Indigenous People, p.56. Wellington, Aotearoa / New Zealand. Huia Publishers.

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